It’s that time again, you know, that period of time when you have a lot of sex and pee on a lot of little sticks which may or may not tell you that you are ovulating…I don’t know what you call it in your house but in our house, it’s called “Boinkfest.”  Those of you trying to conceive know what I mean. 

And you also know that it’s hard not to make it routine or boring because, let’s be honest here, this isn’t just your average good time in the sack, we are “boinking” for a purpose here.  This is sex for procreation.  Baby-making sex.  Gone are the days of just “doin’ it” to “do it.”  Ladies, we want those sperm and we want them NOW, right?

Well, last month we kind of struggled to keep it romantic and light and fun.  Apparently we did something right because if you read the blog routinely (thank you and bless you) remember, we were pregnant for like a minute and a half – which was good – but still, when “Boinkfest” came around this month, I was a little worried.

Apparently I shouldn’t have been.  Despite that fact that we were both disappointed with the loss at the beginning of the month, it seems to have renewed our determination to make a baby.  We’ve been having a lot of fun.  Hubby said last night (while shoving a pillow under my butt, handing me my glasses, turning me sideways so I could watch TV and covering me up – he’s a really good hubby…) that he felt very hopeful and calm.  And I agree.  There isn’t the panicked urgency that there had been in previous months.  We have gotten pregnant before and it “stuck” before and it will “stick” again.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to curled up in a ball and cry when I think about the boys but it does mean that I am thinking more about the future than the past and previously, I couldn’t say that.

VIVA LA BOINKFEST!

I adore my husband.  Best husband in the world.  No, no, don’t argue with me, mine is the best.  After what he has done for me and dealt with over the last 4 months, hands down the BEST husband.  However, he does have his moments (don’t they all?).  The dirty socks under the coffee table, the dirty clothes NEXT to hamper, the inability to load and unload the dishwasher….all minor things but the other night, boy, that was a good one.

I have pretty much decided that we missed the big “O” this month.  I was using a stupid 2 line OPK and I think I missed it (see previous post “OPK Craziness”).  Yes, we went and got digital smiley face tests but I still think we missed it.

So obviously I have been obsessing about this.  I know it only takes one time for the sperm to meet the egg and POW! we are in busy but still, I just don’t think we did IT enough so I am counting this month as a practice round (in my defense, I thought I was pregnant last month and I wasn’t and then I didn’t think I was when I did get pregnant back in November so it’s not like I have great instincts here).  Not getting my hopes up. 

Meanwhile, husband says, “you know it isn’t going to happen unless you relax.  Everyone says that once they relaxed, they got pregnant right away.”

A long pause in the conversation, crickets chirping, my face getting red….

“Really?  Is that what EVERYONE says?  Everyone who has lost their twins 4 months ago and desperately wants a baby, is that the ‘everyone’ who says that? ” Except I am SHREIKING when I say this.

Now I don’t know about you but telling me to “relax” just gets me more tense.  It’s like when you go to the dentist and they say, “this is going to feel like a little pinch so just relax…” I tense up every time and no, it doesn’t feel anything like a little pinch.

Husband: “Aw, well, you know, you just need to be more relaxed, not so worried and it will happen…that’s all I was saying…I just get worried about you putting so much pressure on us getting pregnant quickly.”  Note the back pedaling.

Me: “Don’t you think if I my emotions had any control over whether or not we fell pregnant, I would have exercised that power by now?  The only thing that matters is whether the sperm meets the egg!  Now take off your pants and let’s do it!”

Husband: “Um, okay…..”

He must love me to put up with me.  And yes, I am picking up my Wellbutrin refill from the pharmacy today.