The receptionist at the hospital (not the one normally there, this one was admittedly a “floater”) says to me as she is handing my lab slip, “are you pregnant?”

Me: “I don’t know, I hope.  That’s what the lab slip is for…” I was smiling.

Her: “Well did you take a test at home?”

Me: “Yes, I did.” Still smiling.

Her: “And it was….”

Me: “Please give me my lab slip.” No longer smiling.

Her: “You know the urine tests…”

Me: “Please.  Lab slip.  Now.” Glaring at her, trying to figure out who I know that would help me hide a body.