It’s that time again, you know, that period of time when you have a lot of sex and pee on a lot of little sticks which may or may not tell you that you are ovulating…I don’t know what you call it in your house but in our house, it’s called “Boinkfest.”  Those of you trying to conceive know what I mean. 

And you also know that it’s hard not to make it routine or boring because, let’s be honest here, this isn’t just your average good time in the sack, we are “boinking” for a purpose here.  This is sex for procreation.  Baby-making sex.  Gone are the days of just “doin’ it” to “do it.”  Ladies, we want those sperm and we want them NOW, right?

Well, last month we kind of struggled to keep it romantic and light and fun.  Apparently we did something right because if you read the blog routinely (thank you and bless you) remember, we were pregnant for like a minute and a half – which was good – but still, when “Boinkfest” came around this month, I was a little worried.

Apparently I shouldn’t have been.  Despite that fact that we were both disappointed with the loss at the beginning of the month, it seems to have renewed our determination to make a baby.  We’ve been having a lot of fun.  Hubby said last night (while shoving a pillow under my butt, handing me my glasses, turning me sideways so I could watch TV and covering me up – he’s a really good hubby…) that he felt very hopeful and calm.  And I agree.  There isn’t the panicked urgency that there had been in previous months.  We have gotten pregnant before and it “stuck” before and it will “stick” again.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to curled up in a ball and cry when I think about the boys but it does mean that I am thinking more about the future than the past and previously, I couldn’t say that.


Slave to the OPK

August 14, 2008

It’s that time of the month again.  No, not that time of the month, the OTHER time of the month.  That time when I pee on little sticks to see if my cycle has returned to normal and thereby creating an opportunity for hubby and I to have another baby.  It’s only been 2 months since we started “trying” for another baby (I hate “trying” but I don’t know what else to say – I am open to suggestions) and I didn’t expect it to happen right away.  I know my cycle is screwy and hormone levels are wonky but there is that overwhelming wanting to have a baby.  I was ready to have a baby before when I lost the boys and now, I am ready again.

My mind keeps flash back to when I found out I was pregnant with the boys.  I was so happy.  It was like the flowers were brighter, the sun was warmer and the grass was greener.  Everything was good.  I was so excited and August seemed so far off to get to meet them.  I want that back.  I want to get to finish the journey that I started way back in November.

And then there are the holidays.  I cannot face hubby’s family if I am not pregnant.  I can’t do it.  Christmas at his family’s house will be agony.  His sister is what I call a “serial birther.”  She cannot handle anyone else being pregnant and having any sort of attention so she gets pregnant.  As soon as she found out we were pregnant, she and her husband starting trying for a THIRD.  The day before I had the the surgery and lost Baby A, she said to me, “we have been trying for 2 months now and I just don’t know why I am not pregnant.”  I thought that was a little insensitive since she has two children already and I was getting ready to have a surgery which would end the life of one of my children.  Her third is due in November.  I can’t do Christmas if I am not visibly pregnant and luckily, hubby has said that I don’t have to.

So if I get pregnant this month, I would be due in May.  It seems like an eternity from now.  But I have learned from experience that the whole process goes so fast.  It’s just the process of getting to be pregnant that is killing me (and it’s supposed to be so much fun, right?).  I want this so bad that I am making myself crazy when I really need to remind myself that it will happen when it happens.  It happened before and it will happen again.  If not this month, then next month.  Until then, I am peeing on little sticks and molesting my hubby like crazy…

Hey, this is actually kind of fun….

BDing 4 A BFP….WTF?

August 13, 2008

This is off my normal topic of working through my grief but it’s also something that I am dealing with.  I don’t have fertility issues (that I know of) as we got pregnant on the first go around but the doctor suggested that we use ovulation prediction kit to see when I am ovulating since my cycle might be screwy after the pregnancy.  This is my foray into the world of conception on the Internet….

Okay, seriously, have any of you been on a trying to conceive or “TTC” forum?  OMG!  The sheer volume of abbreviations for words and phrases is just amazing to me.  I fear for the English language as we know it(Side Bar: I recently read an article about high school students not being able to spell many common words correctly like “their” or “Thursday” or “misspell” and how one English teacher wants to just have commonly accepted incorrectly spelled forms of those words.  Way to excel at your job, jackass).

I recently ventured into this world with its’ whole other written language.  I asked a question about ovulation tests or OPK’s (ovulation prediction kits – remember my previous post about the tests making me crazy, this question was related to that).  The response I received had so many letters in it that I thought I had fallen into a bowl of Alpha Bits cereal:

“M, as long as U and DH BD 4 2dbo it prolly doesn’t matter what the OPK said.  Happy BFP!  Babydust 2 U!”


Apparently, translated, that means that as long as hubby and I had sex (BD) both of the 2 days before ovulation (2dbo), it doesn’t matter that the ovulation prediction kit (OPK) said that I was ovulating way earlier than I thought.  Happy Big Fat Positive [pregnancy test] (BFP) and apparently, “babydust” is good luck wishes….

There is also “TWW” or “two week wait” – the maddening time between ovulation and being able to take a pregnancy test.  “BFN” or “Big Fat Negative [pregnancy test]” – familiar with this beast this month. And also, “dpo” or “days past ovulation,” “AF” or “aunt flo” (which I have seen in medical related articles instead of the archaic term “menstruation”) and so on.*  Now if you are taking fertility drugs, there is a whole OTHER set of symbols and letters that means things about shots and cycles and procedures and I have not even tried to understand that…hopefully, I never have to….and not to mention taking temps and charting, OMG!  It’s a wonder that mankind even reproduces…

This is more confusing than the 2 lines on the OPK….Wish me Babydust because for now, I am staying off the forums….

*Check out this website, there is a whole glossary!