Animal Rescue New Orleans

September 30, 2008

Please help Animal Rescue New Orleans to win $25,000 in the Animal Rescue Site’s Shelter Challenge.  Right now, Best Friends Animal Sanctuary is number one and while I heart them with all my doggie-lovin’ heart, ARNO needs your help too.

You can do it once a day.  Please help make ARNO number #1 in more than just my heart!



Freda in the House!

September 30, 2008

Oh joy!  Oh rapture!  My friend Kelly’s mother in law has lent me “Freda.”  Freda is a fertility goddess.  Please forgive me but in my haste to make dinner, go to Target, get some birthday cards, clean the kitchen and make spinach dip for book club tonight, I didn’t get any pictures of the lovely Freda.  I will correct that tonight….

Yup, a real live (well, wooden) fertility goddess and she’s awesome.  Apparently she has “powers.”  She lived in the dorm room at Duke with Kelly’s mother in law and two roommates.  Freda had been passed around to work her mo-jo finally coming to settle at the family lake house (two baby girls resulted from around that time period…coincidence or Freda?  I think Freda).  She is temporarily living with me in Holly Springs to “supervise” some baby-making.  I am so excited and so thankful (really, I swear, I used to be a rational person but don’t judge me, I’ve had a crappy, crappy year.  The fact that I am not in an institution is a dang darn miracle).

I have faith in Freda.

Good Dogs!

September 29, 2008

I am happy to report that both Quincy and Harley passed the AKC Canine Good Citizen test!  This was the first step needed for Quincy to become a therapy dog!  I’m so proud!

I Am A Dumbass…

September 29, 2008

I do stupid things that I know will upset me.  I cancelled my MySpace because I was getting weird “friend” requests and I couldn’t stand looking at people’s newborn babies up on their pages.  Too painful.  One in particular was hubby’s friend from high school whose girlfriend was due a month before we were due to have the twins.  Coincidentally, we were all having boys.

So she and I would message back and forth about the babies and the ultrasounds and such.  And then we had to go to Philly and lost Baby A.  Did I mention they live in Harrisburg and we were staying in Harrisburg with hubby’s mom?  Did I mention that Girlfriend has lost 2 babies before?  In fact, the first time I met her, she had just had a miscarriage and was a wreck.  My first night hanging out with her, she was crying and screaming because no one could understand her pain.  Sound familiar?  Did I mention they didn’t call, didn’t visit, nothing. 

So when we lost the second Baby, hubby emailed his friend to let him know what had happened and that obviously I would be unable to attend Girlfriend’s shower in 2 weeks.  Nothing.  No card, no flowers, nothing.  Silence.  Crickets.

Now, being well-mannered, I knew that I had to send a gift to the shower so I drag my ass out of bed and go to Babies R Us and get a cute little blue blanket and a stuffed frog.  Did I mention I just lost my second baby less than a week earlier?  It was painful to be in that store.  Painful.  Did I mention that I didn’t get a thank you note, an acknowledgement, nothing?  Again, crickets.

But of course, morbid curiosity sets in and I look them up on MySpace.  I am so happy that the baby is doing well but really pissed that neither one of them could pick up the fucking phone and call us.  Or write a note.  She knows the pain I am going through and still, nothing.  I shouldn’t care about them but I do.  I guess she doesn’t want my dead baby cooties or something, I don’t know.  And I am pissed that this has upset me as much as it has….

Which is why, I am such a dumbass.

Two In My Heart…

September 26, 2008

Well, I think I have solved one of my many problems….

Those of us who have lost babies struggle with what to say when someone says, “do you have kids?”  This is incredibly hard to answer because, yes, we do but they died.  As soon as I say to you, “I was pregnant with twin boys but I lost them,” my relationship with you is forever changed.  If I say, “no, I don’t,” I feel crappy because I want to acknowledge my boys not lie about what happened.  I carried them for 22 weeks and I gave birth to them and I love them and I miss them and I ache for them every minute of every day.  And since most people are inherently nosy, I know that I will continually face this dilemma.

My policy before had been to be honest.  Screw you if you felt bad for me or guilty for asking or if you didn’t want to talk about my loss, that’s your damage not mine.  I looked at the act of being honest as an act of courage.  Everytime I told my story, I healed a little bit and I honored their memory.  But I always hated telling a nosy stranger about my boys.  It does take a lot out of me to talk about them.  I’m exhausted after talking about them with someone who needs the whole story.  Hell you guys (well, most of you) don’t even know their names and we talk about my adventures in cervical mucus.  Doesn’t seem right to share something so intimate with a nosy stranger.  And it’s hard on me.

My solution came when I was talking to another blogger who feels she failed at being a mother.  I told her that she couldn’t have failed because her baby was in her heart and soon she would have another baby in her hands.  That’s when it hit me.  That was my answer.

So ask me.  Go ahead and ask me if I have kids.  Here is my answer:

“Yes, I do, I have two babies in my heart.”

And I can’t wait to have one in my hands.

10 Days is Up….

September 26, 2008

Humane Society of Southeast Texas is starting to adopt out animals from the Beaumont area on Saturday.

http://www.beaumont enterprise. com/news/ local/pet_ owners_need_ to_claim_ rescued_pets_ by_saturday_ 09-25-2008. html

If you or someone you know is missing an animal in that area, PLEASE have them contact the shelter or contact me and I will find a way to contact that shelter.  Questions?  Please go to or

My People…

September 25, 2008

If you are my people, you should read this article from the NY Times.  It’s very good.