6 IU

That’s the results of the beta HCG blood test from yesterday.  Dr. T said the lowest positive he has ever seen but he is telling me I am pregnant.  I go back tomorrow to see if the levels have double and where we go from here.  Either way, this is a win.  We got pregnant again even if I’m just a little pregnant.

In this words of Dr. T, “little is a state we were all once in.”

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The receptionist at the hospital (not the one normally there, this one was admittedly a “floater”) says to me as she is handing my lab slip, “are you pregnant?”

Me: “I don’t know, I hope.  That’s what the lab slip is for…” I was smiling.

Her: “Well did you take a test at home?”

Me: “Yes, I did.” Still smiling.

Her: “And it was….”

Me: “Please give me my lab slip.” No longer smiling.

Her: “You know the urine tests…”

Me: “Please.  Lab slip.  Now.” Glaring at her, trying to figure out who I know that would help me hide a body.

Ladies, Go Vote.

November 4, 2008

My friend Frankie over at lilactreedelights.blogspot.com created this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ash_Ff_ZVdw

See, we didn’t always have the right to vote.  Men thought that we were too stupid or too delicate to understand the complicated process of politics and difficulty of running a nation.  Now, today, we have a woman who ran for President and damn near made it.  We have women in Congress, on the Supreme Court, in courtrooms, running Fortune 500 companies. 

It’s a shame if an individual doesn’t vote but if you are a woman and you don’t vote, you are sullying the memory of the women in this video.  Don’t do that to your grandmothers and great-grandmothers.  Go vote.

Thanks for this reminder Frankie, it’s just perfect.

Universal Hopelessness

November 3, 2008

So this is hopelessness.  This is what is feels like no to have any hope left.  I know I should test to see if I am pregnant but I just can’t.  I know I promised to be positive but I can’t.  I don’t have it in me.  Being positive got me nowhere in the car to Pennsylvania.  I bargained and pleaded with the universe to keep them safe.  I said I had hope.  The universe took Baby A.  I bargained and pleaded with the universe that Baby A was gone, leave me Baby B.  I had hope.  The universe took Baby B.

So why should I have hope now?  Is the universe going to give me a new baby?  The universe has proven that it hates me.

Hubby wants me to test in the morning. 

Maybe the universe likes him better.