Moving Forward and Looking Back….

July 27, 2009

So my friend, J, said no to the certificates.  She has her reasons and I won’t share them here but I understand and respect her honesty.  I think I have a backup plan with the help of my good friend, K….I will keep you posted.

Apparently, I am not the only one who gets little flashbacks from the Labor and Delivery room…

Hubby and I went to a ball game on Saturday with a group of sorority alum and husbands.  Somewhere during the game, the subject of when the cut off birthday is for kids to start school here came up.  It’s August 31st.  My friend’s baby is due the 27th, I think so she and her husband starting talking about how induction HAD to happen on whatever date and such…sadly, me and Hubby were sitting in between them so they were having this conversation over us.  My friend’s hubby said something about, “well, as least it will be quick…” and Hubby said, “really?  That wasn’t our experience…”  The friend’s hubby didn’t miss a beat and said, “oh that’s just the first one…”  At which point, Hubby looked at me and said, “sure they tell you takes 6 hours but 48 hours later and you are still there, right?  Let’s go take a walk…”

See the doctors told us that usually, once the drugs are administered, the whole process is over in a couple of hours since my body should be ready and willing to “give up” the babies – we would be home by Sunday afternoon at the latest.  The fact that the pills kicked in at 7pm on Saturday night and went full force for another 48 hours has been a constant source of pain for Hubby – I don’t remember most of it.  Hubby insisted that I get the maximum amount of morphine allowable during this time so I slept for most of Saturday night and Sunday.  That means that he was essentially alone, in the room with his thoughts for that whole time – alone to take care of me.  When my IV would run out, he would go find a nurse to replace it.  When it was time for the next application of the drug, he would go and find a resident to give it to me…He was all alone during this time…The discussion on Saturday of the joys and convenience of induction really brought back those feelings of fear and grief and loneliness and sadness…for both of us.


5 Responses to “Moving Forward and Looking Back….”

  1. Kelly Says:

    What a reminder about how hard these things are for the DHs as well. How tough. I’m sorry this was brought up in this way, when you probably weren’t expecting it.

  2. Tina Says:

    I am sorry your friend was unable to do the certificates for you. I finished a tribute to my girls today…you can see it on my blog if you are interested. I hope you find some peace soon.

  3. Rebekah Says:

    The things our husbands have to silently bear. My husband spent the 5 days in the hospital trying to protect me from well meaning but unwanted visitors- it was hard for him but he knew I didn’t want to see anyone so he had to keep heading them off at the door. (and your husband is so right- it isn’t always quick… despite the fact that I was induced it still took 5 days of labor and ended with a c-section)

  4. Kate Says:

    My husband yesterday broke down with me. I think it was one more request I made and he was just done. Sometimes I forget how much my husband goes through. He’s trying to be the strong end of the equation but sometimes at the expense of fully accepting their own grief. Thanks for the subtle reminder through your painful story.

  5. iamstacey Says:

    I’m so proud of your hubby for standing up for all you went through. I think fertiles just have no idea, they don’t even comprehend that not everyone’s experience is similar to their own. It doesn’t even occur to them.

    I hope it works out for you to get the certificates done!

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