Doctor, Doctor….Can’t You See….

January 12, 2009

Thompson Twins anyone?  Did I just show my age there?

Hubby and I went to the therapist on Friday.  She was nice.  I don’t think she’s the person for us for a couple of reasons.  One, she’s not on our insurance plan like her website said she was.  We had to write a check for her services at the end, which is fine but I don’t want to spend $75 every 2 weeks when Hubby gets 30 mental health visits for a mere $25 co-pay.  Second, she wanted to focus a lot of the time on my relationship with me mother.  I agree, it sucks and needs work.  However, I am more concerned with my relationship with Hubby and our future attempts (and certain failures) with concieving a child.  I repeatedly told her this and while the session started out with her wanting to discuss the losses and what they were doing to our relationship, she moved quickly into my relationship with my mother, effectively leaving Hubby out of the session.

I did take away something that, while I think I already knew it, it helped to hear.  She said that it’s normal, at this stage, to still want to give into the grief even if it’s just for a small time everyday.  What’s not normal is to sink so low into the grief that you can’t face anything else.  Everyone loses something, everyone experiences a grief, but it’s how and if you try and work to recover from that grief that sets people apart.  One of the biggest concerns that Hubby had was that I was never going to recover from the loss of the boys.  The therapist said that while we would never be the same, we would move forward – that we were moving forward – otherwise, we wouldn’t be seeking counseling, going to work, going swimming, going to yoga, etc.  Makes sense.

I felt much better after the session.  I slept a lot this weekend, probably making up for all the bad nights of sleep that I have had in the past couple of months.  I think therapy is going to be good for us because it’s a place where it’s acceptable to cry – even encouraged.  That’s something that I feel I don’t have right now – someplace to cry.

On another note,  I am finally getting Lasik eye surgery next week.  I was scheduled to have it last year (2007) , right after Thanksgiving but found out the day before the procedure that we were pregnant.  Then, I was scheduled to have it done right before Christmas (2008 ) this year and bam!  Found out we were pregnant again.  This time it’s scheduled during the two week wait.  I might be pregnant, I might not be but there is no way to know and hence, eye surgery!

So all in all, things are good.  I’m hopeful and feeling positive.


3 Responses to “Doctor, Doctor….Can’t You See….”

  1. Frances Says:

    I’m glad to hear that something came out of the session, something that told you guys that you were on the right path.

    how exciting to hear about your lasik. I had zero complications with mine and have never looked back. You’ll love it.

  2. stacey Says:

    Just a quick note to tell you that I had LASIK back in the spring. I have loved it! I was very nervous after reading all the dumb consent forms you have to sign but it went great. I love the freedom of living without glasses or contacts!

    Good luck!

  3. Jaded Says:

    Yup, definitely look into your husband’s insurance. $75 is NOT pocket change.

    Good for you indeed! I am so glad you both took that step. I like what she said: that it’s ok to give in to grief a little each day, but not to give into it totally. You are looking ahead, working on another pregnancy, etc. You are on your way. New year, new opportunities? I hear THAT.

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