Happy Holidays

December 17, 2008

So I knew the holidays were going to be tough but actually, it’s been a little easier than I thought  it would be.  I have been staying busy, spending time with friends and hubby (who practically beat the Christmas spirit into me) and in general, trying to make peace with this time of year.  I received some lovely cards and emails from people, taking the time to tell that they are thinking of me and the boys right now and you have no idea (actually if you are my people, you do) what that means to me. 

There is this fear in every person who has lost a child that your child will be forgotten.  When people say to me “you know, I was thinking of you and the boys,” I know that they were remembering what the boys meant to me and Hubby.  You would think that we would want to forget but I don’t and neither does Hubby.  The boys existed and I know that no one got to see them (there are pictures but they are safely tucked away with a family member until Hubby and I are ready and perhaps, one day, we will share them but I think I want to spare you from looking at a picture of a lifeless baby) but let me assure, they existed, they were real and I love them and miss them.

I guess what I am saying is, that despite the awful loss that I have experienced this year, I have been reminded of some wonderful things that I do have in my life.  Your cards and emails remind of that everyday.  I save everyone of them – I do!  Emails and cards.  My husband, my friends, my family….people who care for me enough to email me out of the blue or call me to check in on me, that’s a great gift.

So thank you and Happy Holidays.  I love and appreciate all of you.  While I have a feeling next year will be better, I know that I will always need and cherish every one of you and I am grateful for all of you.


3 Responses to “Happy Holidays”

  1. iambrowneyedgirl Says:

    I’m glad you’re feeling a little better. You’ve been in my thoughts lately. Happy Holidays to you and your family!

  2. Maricel Says:

    Happy holidays Martha! I don’t know if mine will be happy this year. But I wish you all the best! It’s great to have met you here at wordpress. 🙂

  3. whataboutmyeggs Says:

    What a good hubby!! Happy Holidays!!

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