I Am A Dumbass…

September 29, 2008

I do stupid things that I know will upset me.  I cancelled my MySpace because I was getting weird “friend” requests and I couldn’t stand looking at people’s newborn babies up on their pages.  Too painful.  One in particular was hubby’s friend from high school whose girlfriend was due a month before we were due to have the twins.  Coincidentally, we were all having boys.

So she and I would message back and forth about the babies and the ultrasounds and such.  And then we had to go to Philly and lost Baby A.  Did I mention they live in Harrisburg and we were staying in Harrisburg with hubby’s mom?  Did I mention that Girlfriend has lost 2 babies before?  In fact, the first time I met her, she had just had a miscarriage and was a wreck.  My first night hanging out with her, she was crying and screaming because no one could understand her pain.  Sound familiar?  Did I mention they didn’t call, didn’t visit, nothing. 

So when we lost the second Baby, hubby emailed his friend to let him know what had happened and that obviously I would be unable to attend Girlfriend’s shower in 2 weeks.  Nothing.  No card, no flowers, nothing.  Silence.  Crickets.

Now, being well-mannered, I knew that I had to send a gift to the shower so I drag my ass out of bed and go to Babies R Us and get a cute little blue blanket and a stuffed frog.  Did I mention I just lost my second baby less than a week earlier?  It was painful to be in that store.  Painful.  Did I mention that I didn’t get a thank you note, an acknowledgement, nothing?  Again, crickets.

But of course, morbid curiosity sets in and I look them up on MySpace.  I am so happy that the baby is doing well but really pissed that neither one of them could pick up the fucking phone and call us.  Or write a note.  She knows the pain I am going through and still, nothing.  I shouldn’t care about them but I do.  I guess she doesn’t want my dead baby cooties or something, I don’t know.  And I am pissed that this has upset me as much as it has….

Which is why, I am such a dumbass.

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2 Responses to “I Am A Dumbass…”

  1. noswimmers Says:

    Wow. First of all, you have to be the strongest person I know, venturing into BRU…*shivers*.

    Those people sound really REALLY insensitive. You don’t need them in your life…but I know it doesn’t make the pain go away.

  2. Cindy Says:

    You’re not a dumbass. These people are just some of the most inconsiderate people. To have been through that and have your perspective, and not contact you, or thank you for your immensely brave gesture…some people just amaze me. You took the high road, my friend. Just remember – Karma’s a bitch. She bites back.


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