A “Come to Jesus” with My Biological Clock

September 10, 2008

I realize that those of you from other parts of the world may not understand the Southern term, “come to Jesus.” Example of usage – “we need to sit down and have us a little come to Jesus about how much you have been spending on Chai Tea Lattes at Starbucks” (can you tell this just happened with hubby?  Can’t help it – I love me some Chai Tea Lattes from Starbucks, iced please and yes, I know there is caffeine and caffeine is the anti-christ to my little eggs but jeez, give me a break, I’m barely hanging on half the time anyway so if I can’t spend unlimited amounts of money on shoes and makeup just give me my dang Chai Tea Latte twice a week, okay?…wow, okay, I’m done).  Basically it means that we need to have a serious talk about something.

Dr. T emailed me to confirm our appoitnment tomorrow for our “come to Jesus with my biological clock” meeting.  No lie, that’s what the man said.  I about peed my pants.  I guess we are going to be discussing how long is too long to keep pursuing “Operation Kidlet” naturally and when we should get that bitch, Modern Medicine, involved.  Fertility drugs scare me because I could easily end up with twins again.  I already have a 25% greater chance of multiples because of the previous pregnancy (those were sponteanous) and I would get to add another 10% if we go on Clomid.  And as you all know, if it can happen, it will happen to me. 

Now those of you who have never had twins think it’s a groovy idea, two for one right?  I used to think that but since having (and losing) the boys, I am terrified of twins.  Lots of issues and although the boys didn’t die because of being twins and what happened last time is super-highly unlikely to happen again (like 1 in a million, literally), I’m still worried.  And the neo-natalogists in the family (1 nurse, 1 head of department and they are married to each other – lots in brains in one room) are screaming from the roof-tops, “DO NOT TOUCH HER OVARIES!”  Yes, they are freaking out a little because they do not want to have my babies in their NICU (although that is why we go to UNC so if something does happen, they are right there and it’s MY people caring for MY babies).  And I say that twins scare but really, I have mixed feelings.  I would like to have twins again because it was so fun being pregnant with two but then I worry about the complications.  It’s funny because hubby said the same thing last night, he has mixed feelings as well.  In general, we are all just so freaked out because of the loss, the potential for more twins…the whole enchilada……I think this next pregnancy is going to be very stressful on everyone….

But oh so, so wonderful when it happens….


2 Responses to “A “Come to Jesus” with My Biological Clock”

  1. Maricel Says:

    Expect Dr. T to say, “IUI is a good option. If it doesn’t work, think of IVF.” Just a guess. Keep us posted. 🙂

  2. KB Says:

    Hmmm…understand your scaryness. Lots of prenatal yoga, lots of prenatal massage, lots of acupuncture (can they still do that during pregnancy?), lots of counseling, lots of meditation, lots of savasana, lots of breathing. You’ll do just fine. You’ll know how to ask for what you need and you will get it.

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