Knocking Up A Giant Panda….

August 19, 2008

might actually be easier than this.  I just feel blah and cranky and annoyed.  Hubby is sick with a sore throat, a headache and the sniffles.  I’m not feeling all that great either.  We still didn’t get a smiley face yesterday so he was off the hook as far as BDing goes (although he would have rallied, he wants a baby as bad as I do).  And now I have this nagging fear that there is something wrong with me and that’s why I’m not getting a smiley face.  That maybe something happened during delivery and now something is wrong.  Maybe when they were vigorously massaging my uterus so I didn’t bleed to death, maybe they massaged a little too hard and damaged something.  I used to never get cramps mid-cycle but now I get them before (I think) I ovulate.  The doctor says that’s normal but still…..

And I hate these stupid tests.  Obviously the calendar method isn’t working otherwise I would have had a smiley face yesterday so I am stuck with pee sticks….I guess the only other thing I can do is take my temperature but that just seems like it would be so easy to make a mistake.  And I think we have established that I clearly don’t know what I am doing and that the last time we got pregnant on the first try was a total fluke.

We haven’t been engaged in this endeavor that long and I know that when I do get pregnant I am going to look back on this and feel so silly but right now I am just so damn frustrated.  I feel like those Giant Pandas that can only get knocked up once a year and even then is has to be when the moon is high in the southern sky and the stars align just slightly left of the Big Dipper and they do it in the middle of a bamboo forest with a cool breeze blowing slightly to the right of the male panda.  Except I don’t have a team of scientists watching from an observation deck trying to figure out what I am doing wrong…I don’t have a bamboo forest or a cool breeze or any of that….I get to do this all alone with my hubby who is relying on me to understand what the hell I am doing and when we should be doing it and again, clearly, I don’t know what I am doing….

I mean seriously, is it really this hard to get pregnant if you are not a Giant Panda?


One Response to “Knocking Up A Giant Panda….”

  1. KB Says:

    I hope you had some sort of smile or at least a mini giggle as you wrote the last 2 posts. I couldn’t help but laugh a little, esp about the pandas – and doesn’t laughter and smiling go in that pleasure category with love and sex!? I donno much except that it sounds to me like you’re doing fine and will be OK. I hear your frustration – It is understandable. It will happen when it is supposed to – it will. You know that it will. Lots of people conceive with these calendar do-thingy’s and smileys and pee sticks, but you and I conceive pretty easily without much effort – simply with the pure joy of loving our husbands. Just love your husband and let him love you and it will be OK.
    PS I like your ability to laugh when you are frustrated.

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