Happy Tears

July 31, 2008

So my friend T had her baby on Saturday.  A little boy.  I cried as I read her email.  She and I would have been due about the same time (my due date is next Thursday, the 7th).  But I wasn’t crying out of sadness for what she has and I don’t.  I was crying because T and her husband A have lost two babies already – tears of relief you might say.  They lost one little girl at 25 weeks and another little girl at around 30 weeks.  T has been a huge help to me in trying to recover from losing the boys.  The difference between her and I is that whatever causes her to lose her babies only causes her to lose the girls and it reoccurs.  It’s more than likely a genetic issue although she has never shared with me exactly what it is, it’s really none of my business.  She has a little boy already and now, another little boy but it is unlikely that she will be able to have a little girl because of whatever this is.  I, on the other hand, lost my boys due to something that will likely not reoccur  – partly because they were identical twins and partly due to an unfortunate circumstances which occurred from conception.  I can get pregnant and proceed through the pregnancy safe in the knowledge that more than likely, my baby will be born screaming (now you are crazy if you think I won’t be worried every second of every minute of every day).  T didn’t have that reassurance.  She just took a leap of faith that this time, this baby would be born alive.  I am taking her cue and taking that same leap of faith, hopeful that I will be a mommy again soon.

So my tears for T were very happy tears.  Baby L made it to be born screaming to a wonderful mommy and family.

Welcome Baby L, you are very, very welcomed.

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One Response to “Happy Tears”

  1. Frankie Says:

    Congratulations to T! I’m glad to hear that you have someone who understands so well what you are going through. And can also offer the hope you need. That’s one of the more beautiful aspects of humanity. Is that no matter what seemingly insurmountable odds the fates throw at our feet. We have inside of us…inside of you the strength to overcome.


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