Relax? You want me to RELAX?

July 29, 2008

I adore my husband.  Best husband in the world.  No, no, don’t argue with me, mine is the best.  After what he has done for me and dealt with over the last 4 months, hands down the BEST husband.  However, he does have his moments (don’t they all?).  The dirty socks under the coffee table, the dirty clothes NEXT to hamper, the inability to load and unload the dishwasher….all minor things but the other night, boy, that was a good one.

I have pretty much decided that we missed the big “O” this month.  I was using a stupid 2 line OPK and I think I missed it (see previous post “OPK Craziness”).  Yes, we went and got digital smiley face tests but I still think we missed it.

So obviously I have been obsessing about this.  I know it only takes one time for the sperm to meet the egg and POW! we are in busy but still, I just don’t think we did IT enough so I am counting this month as a practice round (in my defense, I thought I was pregnant last month and I wasn’t and then I didn’t think I was when I did get pregnant back in November so it’s not like I have great instincts here).  Not getting my hopes up. 

Meanwhile, husband says, “you know it isn’t going to happen unless you relax.  Everyone says that once they relaxed, they got pregnant right away.”

A long pause in the conversation, crickets chirping, my face getting red….

“Really?  Is that what EVERYONE says?  Everyone who has lost their twins 4 months ago and desperately wants a baby, is that the ‘everyone’ who says that? ” Except I am SHREIKING when I say this.

Now I don’t know about you but telling me to “relax” just gets me more tense.  It’s like when you go to the dentist and they say, “this is going to feel like a little pinch so just relax…” I tense up every time and no, it doesn’t feel anything like a little pinch.

Husband: “Aw, well, you know, you just need to be more relaxed, not so worried and it will happen…that’s all I was saying…I just get worried about you putting so much pressure on us getting pregnant quickly.”  Note the back pedaling.

Me: “Don’t you think if I my emotions had any control over whether or not we fell pregnant, I would have exercised that power by now?  The only thing that matters is whether the sperm meets the egg!  Now take off your pants and let’s do it!”

Husband: “Um, okay…..”

He must love me to put up with me.  And yes, I am picking up my Wellbutrin refill from the pharmacy today.


3 Responses to “Relax? You want me to RELAX?”

  1. whataboutmyeggs Says:

    Ahh, the drop your pants and get me pg. argument. I’m sure we can all relate. I hate the words “just relax.” If I had a baby for every time I heard those words from my DH and every other fertile couple in the world, I would probably beat out that crazy Duggar mom who has like 18 kids and one always on the way. Instead of those words, I’ve learned to tell myself to just keep hope and faith. Your baby dreams will come true, just keep faith. I’ll be thinking of you.

  2. Freda Says:

    Sorry…I’m guilty of tell you that…

  3. KB Says:

    “Just relax” reminds me of when people say, “Let it go” – I always want to yell back, “I would LOVE TO LET IT GO – if I only knew how b/c if I did know how I would have LET IT GO already!!!!!”

    I think that you probably do know how to relax. You said you were into yoga, right?

    My yoga teacher reminded me this week that I do know how to “let it go” – that I do it in yoga class. So the task, really is to practice letting go or relaxing in class with full awarness and intention, then to bring that practice into the other parts of our lives.

    And I don’t mean to be bossy or preachy – and I hope you don’t feel that way. I just know that sometimes, for me, it takes someone else reminding me that I do know how to do these things that I think I don’t.

    I bet you do too.

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