Father’s Day Faux Pas?

So I think I may have inadvertently hurt Hubby this weekend.  We went camping for our anniversary and on Sunday, we hiked with the dogs up Chimney Rock.  If you haven’t been there or seen pictures, it’s lovely but it’s a climb.  We got to the top and stood admiring the view with our three doggies.  I put my arm around Hubby’s waist and leaned my head on his shoulder and whispered, “Happy Father’s Day.”  He smiled, said “thank you” and then got really quiet.  He then said, “what did you do that for?”  As I looked over, he had tears in his eyes and his cheeks were pink (could have been because it was hot but I don’t think so).  I apologized but told him that I wanted to say it and this seemed like a good time.  He hugged me and we turned to leave but he was a little quiet and distant….I worried all day if I shouldn’t have said something….

See, I want people to recognize Mother’s Day for me so I thought he would want me to recognize Father’s Day for him.  I have several amazing friends who wished me a Happy Mother’s Day both this year and last year.   You have no idea how good it feels to have someone acknowledge that you have children even if they aren’t here anymore.  It’s hard to make people understand that because they can’t comprehend that I would want to be reminded of what I lost but we have two little boys who died and it’s not fair to us to not recognize that.  A huge fear of women who lose babies is that people will forget about them – I know that is true for me.

I wanted him to know that I love him for the amazing father he is because as hard as I fought for those babies, he was right there with me.

I have big hopes that next Father’s Day will be totally different.